The coastline is now a continuous pebbly beach with a backdrop of mountains. I wasn’t exactly excited at the prospect of paddling today. It feels predictable that nothing very exciting will happen, and that it will be hot and tiring, lonely and boring.

I’ve said before, doing this adventure was a decision from the heart, not the head. What rational reason is there to paddle for thousands of kilometers with no destination? The romantic vision of adventure – that’s what I set out for. It keeps driving me forwards too, I live in a fantasy of the future much of the time.

The reality doesn’t match the vision, and I often find myself not enjoying the present. Look at the objective reality and like I said, it’s lonely, boring and tiring.

But the mindset I’ve come to live with romanticises the present too. With time, even loneliness becomes beautiful. Whatever happens, it will be positive as a memory. Happiness in the moment doesn’t matter. In fact, the more extreme, more memorable the event, the emotion, the better – regardless of whether it’s conventionally defined as good or bad. Getting type 1 diabetes, for instance, I wouldn’t change, because when I reminisce with my rose-tinted glasses on, it’s wonderful.

I’m not saying I’m immune to a bad mood. But my coping mechanism is to step back and get on with it, knowing it will be a beautiful and great memory. Sometimes I’ve done this for quite a long time. I was pretty miserable when I cycled around New Zealand but persevered in faith of this attitude.

But lately I’ve been questioning it. At what point do I stop sacrificing the present for such romantic ideals? Don’t get me wrong – at times I’m happy in the moment too – but generally this mindset dominates.

The 90 day EU rule has forced me to consider where and for how long I want to keep paddling into the future. With my attitude, I could keep going forever. Even if I’m really miserable, I’m able to convince myself this will be a beautiful memory, and keep pushing on.

Before I started paddling last August, I thought it would only be external pressures – to settle down, get a job – that ended my adventure. However, I’m starting to question living in faith of romantic ideals.

I now believe that the balance between vision and reality in what you do is very important. For instance, I may be a passionate eco warrior but hate the reality of working at Greenpeace. Or I may love the reality of working at a bank even if it’s not part of any vision. Finding a balance between the two is key.

I’m now at a tricky point where I have to decide how long to go on. This could be a bump in the road or the start of a mountain. And would climbing that mountain be worth the satisfaction afterwards? It’s a question of life philosophy. Although probably find tomorrow I’ll wake up after a good nights sleep and a decent meal and realise this is all a load of waffle!